It’s been five years since my last blog post. During that time I have homeschooled, survived a pandemic, experienced social unrest in my town and cities, published a book, sent my kids back to school, and started substitute teaching.
I like to tell people that life during the pandemic didn’t really change for me. I had already been homeschooling my kids for two years before it became a requirement for everyone. My husband still went to work every day. I still cooked meals and cleaned my house. Life as usual.
And yet it wasn’t life as usual. The first time I went grocery shopping in those early days of Covid, it was terrifying. People were rushing around, not making eye contact. Shelves were empty at the store. There was a feeling of panic and anxiety in the air. Will I get sick? Is being here going to kill me? Is that person sick? That general feeling of trust and goodwill that we all took for granted was gone.
My kids hated not being able to play with friends. They sat in our driveway and looked forlornly at our neighbors across the street who were outside in their driveway. It didn’t take long for a group of the neighborhood moms to decide that we were going to “pod up” and let our kids play together. It was a summer of outdoors for them–friends weren’t allowed in the house. They rode bikes, played at the park, and built themselves a clubhouse to hang out in. It was the kind of summer that I had as a kid. In the midst of all the chaos and uncertainty, it was a bit of sunshine. I was grateful to live in a neighborhood where such a thing was possible. I sat outside with the other moms (six feet apart in our chairs) and let the stress lift.
Being home allowed me to embrace my role has a homemaker in new ways. Before I had always looked at these chores I had to do as a sort of bother…a degradation to my status as an educated woman. But as I puttered around my house, doing laundry, and watching YouTube videos about homemaking…I began to see it differently. As a homemaker, I set the tone for my house. The environment that my family lives in is one that I create. That is powerful. I began to notice that if I was having a bad day and reacted badly to situations, my family would follow my lead. If I was patient and didn’t overreact, the tension would quickly diffuse. I had a superpower! Shortly after I discovered this, my daughter accidentally broke a bowl. I remember her looking at me with fear…the expectation that I was going to explode hovering on her face. I don’t blame her. Five years ago, I 100% would have exploded. I would have berated her for being careless and how this is why we can’t have nice things, etc. But this time, I was aware of my superpower. So I said, “Oh man! Are you okay? Don’t worry about the bowl. It’s just stuff.” And we cleaned up the bowl and moved on. Wonder Woman.
As an introvert, I spent a lot of time in my head. Homemaking forces me out of my ruminating and to be present in the real world. Doing tangible chores breaks the cycle of spinning thoughts. During the riots that ravaged Minneapolis, twenty miles away from my home, I repeated a mantra to myself: “Clean my house. Feed my people. Don’t be an asshole.” It was a reminder of the things I could control. I couldn’t stop the fires but I could clean my house. I couldn’t control the protests, but I could feed my family. I couldn’t bring back George Floyd, but I could examine my own behavior and not be an asshole.
Society as a whole these days seems to spend a lot of time focusing on ideas. We ruminate on grand solutions to grand problems, but nobody knows how to wash a dish. Nobody knows how to interact with another person in respectful dialogue. Maybe if we spent a little more time creating environments in our own homes that promote community and conversation…maybe if we spent a little more time being kind to the person next to us…maybe if we focused more on these baby steps instead of the big picture…maybe things would change. Big ideas are good. They keep us mindful of the big picture and the ultimate goal. But when you keep ruminating on the big ideas and don’t implement or support the baby steps to get there…you will get caught in a never ending cycle.
This blog originally started as a blog about minimalism. The name “Simple Material” referred to my thoughts on the stuff that life is made of. My initial focus was on having less actual stuff. While I still abide by that philosophy, it is now less about physical stuff and more about creating a simple life made up of quality experiences. It is my thought that quality experiences are not necessarily big adventures, either. Our society values “go big or go home”. But I feel that “go big or go home” takes away from the value of a simple life. Minimalism is often associated with selling everything to go off on an adventure. This is good and valuable. But it is not the norm for most of us. This is like a silk blouse that we take out for special occasions. It’s fun to wear it once in awhile but it’s a fragile fabric…it’s not intended for every day wear. Life is our linen shirt or cotton t-shirt…fabric that’s hardy and substantial and can take a beating.
I’m not exactly sure where this blog is going. I know that I have a lot of thoughts about a variety things that make up a simple life (that doesn’t necessarily involve homesteading because not all of us want to be farmers) and that I want to write them down somewhere. I want to study the fabric of the ordinary.